part one: identity Growing up black in britain
IDENTITY SERIES - PART ONE
According to the 2011 census just over 3% of the UK’s population consisted of minority ethnic groups, with the large majority living in London. The leftover percentage is therefore split across the rest of the UK, resulting in a lack of diversity across the country. These minorities who live outside of London are almost forgotten, as they are divided in such small numbers; but how does it feel to be one of the few who make up this small population who live outside of London?
For me, growing up in the small county of Bedfordshire seemed normal as a youngster. The majority of my mother’s big family live here, so from that perspective I was always surrounded by black people. However, a large part of my life was school, and being one out of about six other black pupils in my year (and the teachers called me by another black girl’s name) it was strange to see - I would get called other black girl’s name and vice versa. However, when it came to the white pupils in the class, who made up the large majority of people, the teacher would have no problem in getting all of their names right. It’s that typical stereotype of “they all look the same”, but when there’s so few of you and the teacher continuously makes this so called mistake, it made me think that the teacher’s had little respect for us. They are not even trying to learn who we are, and something so simple as what our names are.
Although, at such a young age I didn’t think about it too much, but in the back of my head I always thought of myself as an outsider. Especially, experiencing teacher’s surprised faces when I would speak in a formal manner, rather than what is stereotyped for black people. When the white pupils would speak in the same way I was speaking it was treated normally. These differences in how we were treated made me especially feel marginalised at school. There was also a gifted and talented scheme at school, and I wasn’t on it, but I thought I was just as smart as some of the other students who were on the scheme (the majority of people on this scheme were white). It made me feel stupid, even though I knew I wasn’t. It also made me unmotivated with my studies; why must I try if I wasn’t going to be recognised for my achievements?
Things that may seem minor to some, like not getting my name right, are ones that shaped the way in which I grew up. This made me see myself in a negative way, often questioning if I was in the wrong. I often thought I should be acting differently or like these stereotypes, but I realised that I would have been playing into how people would want me to act, to reinforce this negative image. This was worsened by being told from a young age that I need to work 10 times as hard to achieve the same as a white person, from parents or other family members. This I found to be true, but learning this from a young age made me question if I really was inferior to white people, before I had even entered the classroom. If I wasn’t told this, it could have helped me to be more confident within the education system, and not set my biases based on this. These are lessons in life that white students do not have to learn. They can instead just focus on their studies, whereas many minority children had to think about how they were viewed within society.
Thankfully, I wasn’t completely shut off from how people lived outside of Bedfordshire. Growing up, I spent a lot of my time in London, West Ham to be exact; a large number of ethnic minorities lived here. I would spend this time visiting my grandparents; looking back on that time the differences between London life and life in Bedfordshire was and still is significant. I remember dropping my younger cousin off to school, and seeing the number of minorities that filled the streets on their way to school. I remember the diversity in the markets that my grandma would go to, to buy yam and plantain. The same markets in Bedfordshire would be full of white men selling apples and pears. After my grandparents passed away I no longer had this connection with London. I could no longer see the local black corner shop owners, who I’d known since I can remember. I was back to being locked away in the “countryside”. This insight benefitted me in ways that I could not even imagine at the time, as it allowed me to gain some knowledge from outside of my small hometown. Other minorities in my same position may not have experienced life from outside of their small town.
Having this insight made me realise that people are treated differently everywhere; even though there is racism all over, different parts of the UK react differently. For example, as there are more minorities in London, it shows in the people that you see around and the cultures that they celebrate (Notting Hill Carnival). Whereas, in smaller towns, the variety of cultures aren’t celebrated a lot, and are often ignored. This celebration of cultures allows for individuals from minority backgrounds to look at themselves in a more positive light. This has improved in my local area, with the creation of the Reggae festival that was scheduled to take place before coronavirus happened in Milton Keynes. However, these are the sorts of things that would’ve helped to make me and other minorities to feel more included in their hometowns. Hopefully the younger generations benefit from these small changes and feel more comfortable in their hometown, and themselves.
Commentary by Niccole Wilson