Arranged Marriage
When we think of the term “arranged marriage” in western culture, we can sometimes fall into the misconception that these types of marriages are based on two individuals being held at gunpoint and being forced to marry. The initial thought is that of horror and shock! Well I would say, however, that maybe long ago in the past some people were held at gun point so to speak. But this has now changed since the digital age and cultures have evolved and removed certain toxic traits.
Arranged marriage haven’t been completely removed from society, these types of marriages are still extremely common in cultures that originate in South Asia (China & Japan), Africa, the Middle East, and South Asian countries such as Pakistan, Bangladesh, and India.
Arranged marriages are essentially based on family members, or friends, playing matchmaker in order to find someone their perfect match. An individual has free choice over whether they will decide to move on to the next steps. It is fundamentally their choice and their choice alone on whether they wish to get to know and spend the rest of their life with that individual. Now I know some may be thinking “hey why should I let my parents have a say in who I spend the rest of my life with”. But is it really that bad having someone who understands you and has lived with you since you were born choose your spouse? We all know our parents want the best for us. It’s not like they intend to hook us up with psychopaths and murderers? I should certainly hope not, lol.
This month Netflix released a show called “Indian Matchmaker” which focused on arranged marriages and individuals hiring matchmakers to help them find their one true love. The parents are also in the background acting like football agents trying to get their son/daughter the best deal. The weird thing was that each individual would hand in a list of particular traits they want in their spouse and the matchmaker would then go away to do research to find them “the one”. There’s a lot at stake as weddings can be very expensive. Although I didn’t watch the full show, individuals appeared to be picky to the extent that caste, height, and even skin colour were demands of the individual trying their luck at finding their future spouse.
You’d think in the society we live in today that things such as caste and whether you’re light skinned or dark skinned wouldn’t be the biggest concern. But in places such as India, advertisements encourage you to purchase products that lighten skin. This is something that will be discussed more in-depth in future articles.
The topic of arranged marriages will be further highlighted in mainstream television through the BBC miniseries, “A Suitable Boy”. This is the television adaption of Vikram Seth’s novel of the same name which focuses on literature student Lata Mehra, a highly motivated and bright literature student. Rupa, her mother, has arranged the marriage of her eldest daughter Savita to university lecturer Pran Kapoor. This urges Rupa to want to get Lata married off, but Lata wants to choose her own narrative. Romance isn’t the most important thing on her mind until she meets Kabir Durrani, and that’s when her resolve is challenged.
Article by Adeel Chaudry